I feel like a few Gods have been pulling their strings for me to join ADF, as it “all fell into place”. ADF is the answer to my search of a Pagan Religion and Church (yes, I’m not shunning away from those terms – I was looking for them!).
After a longer period of practice within the Western Mystery Tradition, Wicca and Druidcraft, I felt something was still missing. As a Qabbalist, the Tree of Life plays an important role for me as the axis mundi, my personal middle pillar and the connection between the worlds on my Pagan path. The use of the Tree was what had first sparked my interest in ADF. I am still working within the Western Mystery Tradition. The aim of the magus is spiritual growth and mystical union with divinity. However, in ancient times it was the good relationship with the Gods. This is why I felt that my “religious” side is not serviced fully by my magical path and I realized that I needed something more. I know many ritual magicians who are still practicing Christians or Jews. I am a Magus and a Druid. The combination is not always easy, but I feel it works.
I already had a Patron upon joining: The Goddess Ishtar. She had actually already called me as a teenager, but I misinterpreted her call for my magical name. It took the intervention of Freya until I realized that I’ve been claimed. This obviously brought me to read into the Mesopotamian traditions, which are very fascinating and a great cradle for our Western Culture, the Qabalah and have maybe even influenced PIE-Religion. Still I nearly never practice Mesopotamian Rituals, as it is not connected to the land on which I walk. I come from a Celtic land, the land of the Helvetii and I moved around Celtic and Germanic lands and live now on a ground, where the sacred landscape is tinted Germano-Celtic. During my travels my Paganism became soaked with wanting to work with the land I live in. The cycles and phenomenology right here are important, not what someone has written in a book for another climatic area. This meant drastic changes to my rituals while living in the south of France. But now I’m back in Germany, and with the birth of our son my army-wife traveling days are over. The known Germanic tribe, the Chatten, have integrated many aspects of the unnamed Celtic population living here before them. So despite having a Mesopotamian Patron, my hearth culture is Celtic.
Only through the work on the DP I realized that I’ve never actually made a great differentiation between Gaelic, British, Gallic and Welsh Celts. So I started taking a hard look on that part. In my practice I used more often Gaelic Gods, while I have most knowledge of Welsh Gods and the best relationship to Welsh and Gaelic Gods. But the Gallic Gods are geographically closer and I started feeling a pull towards them and started to study them. In ritual I try to separate them, although it doesn’t always work. But I do as well look at them progressively, my experiments on Rigani-Ardana I’ve already referred to elsewhere. What actually really surprised me was that by the end of this year two Norse Gods came stronger into focus: Odin-Wodan and Frigga-Hulda. Probably because they are very prominent in the landscape, the mountain where Hulda is said to live is not far and a hill bearing Odin’s name is in my town. The Thing-place of the Chatten is across a few fields, I can see one of their sacred hills from my windows. The Donar Oak, destroyed by Bonifatius stood in one of the neighbor towns. I have the choice between Celtic and Germanic and am free to mix them as the Chatten did. Probably the Roman Gods would be well accessible too, as Roman Amisia has been located within my town too. But I chose the Celts with an unexpected dash of Norse for now.
There is another Patron (to-be). I know him from the inner levels and my work within the Mystery Tradition. He is called the “Opener” there and he has given me the clear instruction to search for him within “my” tradition. In Egyptian tradition he works through Anubis with whom I have good contact. Just before my Oathrite (see Oathrite Essay) the “veil was lifted”: Cernunnos. [...]
In my solitary practice I try praying before meal once a day, a prayer-dice helps. I meditate each day, though the practice has now quite changed and it is harder finding time. I continue the noon-attunement from my mystery-training and I try to integrate as much mindfulness as possible with better and lesser results. When starting out with the DP and the COoR, I was actually amazed that I found myself struggling. It worked out after introducing “Sunday mass”, which is a devotional at my home shrine Saturday or Sunday. I used an adaptation and translation from Ian Corrigan’s Simple Shrine rite and built up the steps like suggested by Melissa S. Burchfield. This helped gaining security and getting in touch with the three Kindred on a regular basis. I am keeping this up, thinking of maybe changing it in the way of choosing a special fitting deity for each week, but this idea hasn’t been completely drafted out yet. Doing Sunday mass gave me the devotional religious feeling I was looking for. The feeling of the importance of the relationship and the certainty that this path was the addendum to what I’ve been doing up until now that I was looking for. Working on the DP helped me in time to resolve some of the questions and struggles of the beginning. This part certainly would have been easier if there would have been an ADF Grove with a Senior Druid nearby.